Room

I spend the majority of my time alone. It's better that way.

I have enough money to do a lot of things. I could 'go out'. I've heard normal people 'go out'. From what I've seen this involves going to loud places, drinking, dancing and being obnoxious to the opposite sex. I don't enjoy these things. Because most people do, this makes me a bad person. I've been told I should keep doing these things until I enjoy them. A curious suggestion.

I'm alone in my bedroom. It's getting dark. People will be out having fun. I don't understand them. My mother tells me the world 'doesn't bite'. Unfortunately, it does. It bites like a shark with lockjaw. I've been out many times. Often I end up sitting alone while the people 'do their thing'. Sometimes others ask what's wrong. It's too difficult to explain, especially in loud and impatient atmospheres, so I say I'm ok. I don't need 'help' or 'pity', I just want to leave. But that would draw attention to myself, and if I'm in a strange town, where would I go?

People eventually get annoyed because they don't understand me. Why do I bother 'going out' if I'm not going to 'try to enjoy it'? But if I wasn't going to try, I'd've just stayed at home. The problem is, I'm just not trying in exactly the way they want me to.

I can't match up to these standards of peoples' expectations. So I stay in. It's easier that way.