Friends (2)

But why don't you find friends online, I hear you say? Surely it must be easier. Well, yes it is. But it comes with it's own problems.

This was long before MySpace or Facebook. Almost a decade ago, I discovered 'instant messaging'. I made a few friends. And I fell out with almost every single one. While the internet takes out the anxiety of face-to-face talking (and body language and other assorted 'skills') it makes neither you, nor other people, easier to get along with.

The few people with whom I managed even a medium-term friendship were no easier. The more we talked, the more pressure I felt under. If MSN started up, I was seen online. Many times I didn't want to talk, but not to have done so would have seemed rude. If they didn't talk to me, I wondered what I'd done wrong.

For me, nothing is ever simple.

They say that if you have problems, you should talk to someone. But what if you know that, whatever you say, it'll only make things worse. You will be expected to do something. If you don't do it, they want to know why. And always you ask yourself - why are they doing this?

I've often been told I'm hard work. If only people knew how much hard work they were,