Persecution

A lot has gone on in my life. Much of it convinces me I'm persecuted.

My house cheque has gone into the bank, and shows on the balance. But my available balance is still only £6. My benefit is now 3 days late and will probably not now show until next week.

I presume my bank has had enough of my being constantly overdrawn. Not content with charging me £5 for the overdraft itself, £34 for failed direct debits and £25 every 5 days for unauthorised overdrawing, it now seeks to keep hold of my money now I'm actually in credit. The benefits agency no doubt has realised I've been on incapacity for a year now. I've probably set off a 'presumed malingerer' function in the computer.

I'm poor and ill. I must be punished. I must not have any enjoyment lest it encourage me.

Poor

My financial problems after nearly over. Yesterday I banked the cheque from my house sale.

The worst thing about being poor is not the fact you can't go on holiday. Nor is it not eating and drinking what you'd like. Not even the hassling from the various organisations to whom you owe money.

It's not being able to do the small things. My benefit is late. I didn't even have the bus fare so I could go to the bank. I had to borrow the money for even that. You know the worst thing? It's paying for something by debit card and having it declined. A humiliation in a public place. There's nothing you can do except slink away.

You end up feeling that people are looking at you. Thinking "Who's that poor scum? What right does he have to exist?". I have problems with people looking at me anyway. I don't need any more reasons for them to look down on me.

The world is a very harsh place if you have no money. And other people harsher still.