Lizards

Here come the lizards

Someone is talking to me. I reply. Am I doing the right thing? Why are they looking at me like that? Have I done something to offend them? Best get on with my work and not think about it.

Here come the lizards, here come the lizards

I must have seemed distant or standoffish or something. I can't think of anything I did wrong. Must have been something. I'm sure they're probably talking about me now and how weird I am. I can't ask them because I'll seem even weirder.

Here come the lizards, here come the lizards, here come the lizards

I'm sure they're avoiding me. Did they give me a funny look just then? Why did they start whispering when I went by? Are they laughing? I must be the laughing stock of the whole place now. Close your eyes, and remember to breathe. It's not working. Why do I have to think these things. I wish I'd not thought anything at all.

Here come the lizards, here come the lizards, here come the lizards, here come the lizards

etc.

Update

Sorry for not posting for 2 months. Been busy. Busier than I expected to be 2 months ago.

Further to my 'assessment' for Incapacity Benefit, I passed. Passed, that is, fit to work. To be ill, I had to score 10. I scored 5. I doubted their methodology, but it seems they were right. I got a (minimum wage) job 2 weeks ago, and it's not been easy. The work is easy. But the people. The people are difficult. I no doubt have been building a reputation as an uncommunicative weirdo there. I'm resigned to this. Such things happen wherever I go. I no longer expect anything from anyone, let alone sympathy and understanding

I had a meeting with my psychiatrist 3 weeks ago. I've been referred to the Sheffield Asperger Syndrome Service to see if they can spot the bats flapping round my head. I got sent a large questionnaire for a close relative to fill out, and directions to the place for an appointment to see them at the end of January.

My life is not easier, just difficult in new ways.