I went for the medical yesterday. Went about as expected.
Found the anonymous building it was at surrounded with scaffolding and the sound of construction work. One of those things if you live in an expanding university town.
The office was remarkably large but barely furnished The doctor didn't bother checking anything physical on me. He looked and sounded bored as he ticked off the checklist on his PC. I can't really blame him if the people in the waiting room are any indication of those he has to see (I think most people would describe them as chavs - there was even a sign in reception that said "Consumption of Alcohol is Not Permitted on These Premises").
I was asked the usual questions. How did I feel? How did my feelings affect what I was able to do? Was I capable of this, that and the other? Do I drink or take drugs? Do I have any friends? Was I anxious in coming here today? And I was expected to know the answers to all these questions.
He asked me how I was getting home. I always find it unnerving when people try to make small talk, especially when they so obviously have no interest but do it because their training says it's a Good Thing to Do.
His report will be passed to my Personal Advisor, who I've yet to meet and probably has not learned of my existence. No doubt this will be a poorly-paid Civil Servant skilled in hassling and demeaning the 'unworthy' as those are the types who tend to be successful. Even if only people come off Benefits just to avoid them. It all goes towards hitting government targets. And we all know targets are more important than people.
Tuesday, 18 September 2007
Friday, 7 September 2007
Medical
I received a letter on Wednesday. I have to report to a 'Centre' to undergo a 'medical examination'.
As suspected, I must have tripped off a function in a computer program. I've been on Incapacity Benefit for a year. Therefore all efforts must be made to get me off it. No doubt the Benefits Agency have 'targets' to meet.
Since I'm on IB due to 'depression' (what my sick notes say), quite how they'll examine me is open to question. There will probably be a written test, probably box-ticking as this is easy to quantify. I will probably fail, and thus judged fit for some sort of work, as I'm not catatonic or psychotic. Basically, I'm being set up to fail because some civil servant wants a performance-related bonus, just as I lost my job because a manager wanted to make his presence felt.
After that I will be passed to what the letter terms a 'Personal Adviser' who will make me attend a 'Work Focused Interview'. This will assail me with hassling and demeaning words and demands that I justify myself, and prostrate myself in order to get work.
If my benefit is stopped, it's no real loss. I have over £30,000 in the bank so I won't starve. It's just disconcerting that I'm going to have to go through a system that presumes I'm a malingerer and must be punished.
My own plan was to start applying for temporary jobs in retail (my previous line of work) around November, when shops traditionally look for extra Xmas staff. But my plans mean nothing in the computer-generated, cost-cutting, target-driven world of the Benefits Agency
As suspected, I must have tripped off a function in a computer program. I've been on Incapacity Benefit for a year. Therefore all efforts must be made to get me off it. No doubt the Benefits Agency have 'targets' to meet.
Since I'm on IB due to 'depression' (what my sick notes say), quite how they'll examine me is open to question. There will probably be a written test, probably box-ticking as this is easy to quantify. I will probably fail, and thus judged fit for some sort of work, as I'm not catatonic or psychotic. Basically, I'm being set up to fail because some civil servant wants a performance-related bonus, just as I lost my job because a manager wanted to make his presence felt.
After that I will be passed to what the letter terms a 'Personal Adviser' who will make me attend a 'Work Focused Interview'. This will assail me with hassling and demeaning words and demands that I justify myself, and prostrate myself in order to get work.
If my benefit is stopped, it's no real loss. I have over £30,000 in the bank so I won't starve. It's just disconcerting that I'm going to have to go through a system that presumes I'm a malingerer and must be punished.
My own plan was to start applying for temporary jobs in retail (my previous line of work) around November, when shops traditionally look for extra Xmas staff. But my plans mean nothing in the computer-generated, cost-cutting, target-driven world of the Benefits Agency
Saturday, 1 September 2007
Alcohol
I drink too much. You don't have to tell me.
They say that an alcoholic is someone who drinks more than you do. I average a bottle of wine (or equivalent) a day. And what's worse, I drink it at home. Alone.
Despite the physiological evidence (ie. the liver breaking down alcohol at a consistent rate no matter the conditions), it's a 'given' that drinking alone is worse for your health than drinking while 'out'. That is utterly stupid. Maybe they think that being with people mitigates the toxic effects. Though I've never noticed any difference. I drink when I'm 'out' to numb the stress, rather than make me sociable.
What with the evidence from town centres every Friday and Saturday night, it seems that people 'going out' end up engaging in a lot of anti-social activities. But that's ok. It's traditional. These facts are known. Anyone who stays at home to drink is a depressive and violent family abuser. Right?
I've never hit anyone or smashed up the place after drinking alone. In fact, I don't even get what could be termed 'drunk'. My drinking harms no-one and nothing. But people maintain an inbuilt suspicion and distaste of someone who drinks alone.
You're probably thinking - but surely if I didn't drink, I'd feel so much happier? I can't speak for other people, but drinking or not makes little difference to my overall mental state. I had a breakdown at 18, at which time I drank maybe twice a year. I had problems and depression for many years without alcohol. So why do I drink, you ask. There's no complex psychiatric explanation here. I drink because it makes life less boring and stressful for the duration.
And anyway, society thinks I'm a sick weirdo. So why confound their expectations?
They say that an alcoholic is someone who drinks more than you do. I average a bottle of wine (or equivalent) a day. And what's worse, I drink it at home. Alone.
Despite the physiological evidence (ie. the liver breaking down alcohol at a consistent rate no matter the conditions), it's a 'given' that drinking alone is worse for your health than drinking while 'out'. That is utterly stupid. Maybe they think that being with people mitigates the toxic effects. Though I've never noticed any difference. I drink when I'm 'out' to numb the stress, rather than make me sociable.
What with the evidence from town centres every Friday and Saturday night, it seems that people 'going out' end up engaging in a lot of anti-social activities. But that's ok. It's traditional. These facts are known. Anyone who stays at home to drink is a depressive and violent family abuser. Right?
I've never hit anyone or smashed up the place after drinking alone. In fact, I don't even get what could be termed 'drunk'. My drinking harms no-one and nothing. But people maintain an inbuilt suspicion and distaste of someone who drinks alone.
You're probably thinking - but surely if I didn't drink, I'd feel so much happier? I can't speak for other people, but drinking or not makes little difference to my overall mental state. I had a breakdown at 18, at which time I drank maybe twice a year. I had problems and depression for many years without alcohol. So why do I drink, you ask. There's no complex psychiatric explanation here. I drink because it makes life less boring and stressful for the duration.
And anyway, society thinks I'm a sick weirdo. So why confound their expectations?
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